I hate gas guzzlers
Gas guzzler.Gas guzzler, gas guzzler, gas guzzler.
You see them everywhere. Huge SUV gas guzzlers. Luxury sedan gas guzzlers. Sports car guzzlers. Gas guzzlers everywhere.
But driving a gas guzzler is fun. It's about more than transportation. It sends a message. It tells people you can afford the gas. It makes you feel powerful. It can make a dork feel cool. A short person tall. A poor person rich. An impotent man virile. It's not about driving. It's about perception. And, since life is so short, why shouldn't you just do what you want, drive what you want?
Finish: I hate gas guzzlers
Labels: fuel economy, gas guzzlers, hybrid cars
posted by Dahcredyns at
6:50 AM
14 Comments:
Full Story
Gas guzzler, gas guzzler, gas guzzler.
You see them everywhere. Huge SUV gas guzzlers. Luxury sedan gas guzzlers. Sports car guzzlers. Gas guzzlers everywhere.
But driving a gas guzzler is fun. It's about more than transportation. It sends a message. It tells people you can afford the gas. It makes you feel powerful. It can make a dork feel cool. A short person tall. A poor person rich. An impotent man virile. It's not about driving. It's about perception. And, since life is so short, why shouldn't you just do what you want, drive what you want?
Sure gas guzzlers can be expensive, especially when refilling. But, its not worth having if its not expensive, right? A great car or house. A sexy wife. If you want a good life, you have to buy it, right?
Eat McDonalds all you want. Smoke. Drink till your liver explodes. Because you can just buy the next great pill to fix you right up. Or, have doctors perform millions of dollars worth of surgery - hey, man, you have been paying your insurance premiums for years. You deserve it. Every American deserves millions in health care. It's our right. Who cares if health care fails the next generation. Responsibility? Life is too short.
Besides, gas guzzling is an inalienable American right. Just because it funds terrorism has nothing to do with Americans. That's a Saudi problem. The environment? Please. 99 percent of species that have ever existed are now dead. Global warming is natural. Man made global warming is a hoax. And acid rain never killed anybody. It's evolution. Ok, evolution isn't real. It's our god-given right.
If governments want to torture and hold their people hostage and sell us cheap oil, then we should buy it. Stealing is even better than buying, especially when you can pay others to do the dirty work. Life is too cheap to worry about how purchases affect other people. It's not America's problem.
So, just buy a gas-guzzler. Find a good blood diamond for your plastic enhanced, face-lifted wife. Never buy hybrid
cars. Forget electric vehicles. There is enough oil to last forever.
Too much smog? Too much asthma? Too much cancer? Too much war?
Who cares? Life is too short. Put on a gas mask, pop a couple of pills, get a little chemo and drink and smoke the truth away. Life is too short to worry about consequences, responsibility, reality. Besides, when you're on your death bed, just give the church a big chunk of cash - you can always just buy your way into heaven. Besides, we're Americans, its our right.
So buy your gas guzzler. Don't worry about fuel economy or emissions. Life is about having fun. Don't think about the future. And if you can't afford it, steal it. Rob for it. Because if you can't buy a good life, then you can't have a good life. And every American deserves a good life, no matter how much pain or hurt it causes others. Life is too short to worry about such trivial matters.
That was quite a rant! But I like it. I'm basically saying this stuff all the time to my wife. She's probably sick of it, but I do it anyway ("It's our God Given right as Americans" is one of my favorites that I use all the time!)
LOL...
OK Dahc....I know you either got very little sleep the night before OR someone else sabotaged your blog account...probably Karl on Cars....and went for it.
But driving a gas guzzler is fun. It's about more than transportation. It sends a message. It tells people you can afford the gas. It makes you feel powerful. It can make a dork feel cool. A short person tall. A poor person rich. An impotent man virile. It's not about driving. It's about perception. And, since life is so short, why shouldn't you just do what you want, drive what you want?
You got that right...a gas guzzler is a penis extension for people who have very small members.
These vehicles are made for people with very little to no understanding of cause and effect.
It's a real shame such folk can procreate...it sort of puts a damper on Darwin's theory of evolution...probably because they are equivalent to what we know as cancer cells.
It's OK to drive what you want. This is a free country.
However, Many families have lost loved ones, who died in the Middle East, protecting our oil assets.
My question is:
If YOU had to sacrifice a family member in the Middle East in order to drive what you want.....
Would you feel the same way?
That's the whole point. No one feels any accountability of pain for their actions. Therefore they feel they are entitled when they are not.
People do not have the right to drive and pollute as much as they want. Free country doesn't mean free to destroy THE environment....not YOUR environment...THE environment. It belongs to no one. It belongs to everyone. If some bozo next to me is putting out 5 times the pollution driving a Hummer...who the hell does he/she think he is to have the RIGHT to do that? Were they born more special?
Your statement is correct. If people FELT the pain they are inflicting on others and themselves more directly, they'd wouldn't do 95% of the things they already do.
Imagine someone came and dumped all the waste you produce every single day into your living room. I'll put my paycheck on the line and bet that people will stop throwing stuff away less.
There's no accountability for anything in this country except for how much money anyway is making. That's it. This is what this country has deteriorated down to....you could be dying on the street and no one will help you if you don't have money or insurance. They'd prefer you die.
Yet we sit here and are proud of this complete, utter social disaster.
Well thank goodness for the blogs. It keeps our little boy's busy pretending to be grownup writers and and out of the xxx rated "Momma's Boy" web sites. Dont worry Boy's Mama will bring your supper down to your apartment in the basement. Just put your apron's on and clean up a little ok Dear?
Amen. By no means do I come out completely guilt free on the things that make us "American", but I at least I see the problem. Just because you can afford to have 20 kids and can afford to use up all the food and natural resources to sustain that many kids (whom will most likely have 5-10 kids of their own), doesn't mean you should. Should we legislate it? No. It's something that free, forwarding thinking, democratic society should be able to figure out on their own. But we don't. I sit hear listening to CNBC and all the money whores (money is the only thing that matters) call for more drilling to help out our economy via gas and oil prices. Why can't we, as people, a society, or a nation, just do what is the best thing to do?
Shane-
That's the best you can do? LOL!
BTW - This rant was a play off a rant done by Edmunds.com entitled 'I hate hybrids' by the Mechanic.
Excuse us bloggers for challenging the mainstream press. They certainly haven't deserved to be challenged, right, Shane?
Shane's gas/oil hedge fund portfolio must be doing well right now. Why are you on the blog, yet critisizing it? Oh, I forget, your an American, it's your God Given Right.
I think Dahc is being facetious...I pretty much know (or hope..after being on this blog for a while now) that he is just playing devil's advocate....perhap's to attract the real right-wing termites?
In other news, it's a sad day in US history that McCain is apparently up 5 points on Obama...very sad indeed.
Good thing I got my Canadian residency when I did.
noz-
I know a lot of left wingers that are gas guzzlers as well.
As you and anon have pointed out, we basically judge the value of life by paychecks. Money has become the only thing that matters.
Check out the size of the shoppers at your local WalMart, check out their viewing habits on tv, and don't be surprised at what the American public likes as far as its automobiles.
As far as the McCain-Obama election: it's the electoral count that counts. I'd suggest that anyone who feels a momentary setback in emotion check anyone of the many websites that look at the current state-by-state tallies.
I love this facetious retort to those Edmund's pieces. Thanks for slapping those guys around a little. Their pieces against hybrids were cynical blustering, playing to the prejudices of their audience by demonizing the other, and you nailed that in your satire. Well done!
You may also be happy to know that I gave that Karl on Cars some heartache too...what a douche.
Post a Comment
<< Home