Why gas-guzzling is great!

What's better than a gas-guzzling SUV that can go offroad?

A more powerful, even greater guzzling SUV that can't go offroad. It's pure guzzling pleasure, a message to the world that the price of gasoline means nothing, nor does common sense.

Now that's saying something!

As for global warming and foreign oil dependency, those are just treehugging conspiracies - every real American knows that.

That's why I can't wait for the new muscle cars from Ford and GM, so I can fly by those granola-eating Prius and Civic hybrid drivers. They act like they are saving the world. Give me a break, they aren't making a dent in foreign oil dependency. That's why I buy GM products, they understand America. Just look at Bob Lutz.

"There's enormous good will for the glory days of American cars, when they really were American and didn't try to be Japanese or German," says GM car czar Bob Lutz.

Gas guzzling is the essence of America. Since we're the best in the world, we can do whatever we want. Besides, if I wasn't using so much gas, those people in the Middle East wouldn't have any money and that would breed real terrorism. The truth is gas-guzzling helps fight terrorism. The richer we make those people the less they'll want to kill us.

I'm the real American. America is about choice, even if it is a stupid choice, such as buying a hybrid car.

Be a real American, buy the biggest gas-guzzler you can find! Together we can change the world!